Bill Haynie, of Slidell, tells this tale of injustice and the quest for revenge:

"A few years ago my spouse, Mary Ann, and I signed up for an LSU alumni football bus trip to Ole Miss at Oxford, Mississippi.

"During the rainy bus ride to the game, we were informed that Ole Miss had canceled the on-campus bus parking permit near the stadium.

"This resulted in the LSU alumni walking back to the bus at night, in the cold rain, through strange neighborhoods, to a remote location off-campus.

"After returning home, I emailed the LSU athletic director's office, recounted the above story, and suggested that we return the favor the next year.

"I said, 'Rain or shine, the Ole Miss alumni bus could park in Port Allen and their alumni could walk across the Mississippi River bridge to Tiger Stadium.'

"No response!"

That warm feeling

The Friday story about robot bartenders reminded me of the time years ago when a Baton Rouge hotel unveiled a new bar featuring spigots that measured out precise amounts of various kinds of booze from big bottles behind the wall.

I attended the opening along with the late Ralph Sims, a noted epicurean who had very precise requirements for his martini — quality gin (never vodka) and vermouth, not too dry (about 3 to 1), stirred (never shaken) until frosty, and served straight up in a chilled stemmed glass with a twist of lemon peel (never olives).

I was standing by Ralph as he ordered a martini, and watched the kid behind the bar pour some vermouth in a chilled glass, fill it with gin from the spigot, and add the requested lemon peel.

As Ralph, engaged in conversation, casually reached for his drink, I wondered if the bottles behind the wall were kept cold.

Turns out they weren't, so Ralph took a big sip of room-temperature gin.

He was not amused.  

Disturbing recycling

"Always room for one more outhouse tale," says Val Garon:

"My friend, Leroy Cook, of Prairieville, has an old outhouse that he uses to smoke meat. I'm pretty sure he moved it from its original pit.

"Anyhow, it is a neat old cypress building with a crescent moon on the front door."

Val, I wouldn't settle for being "pretty sure" he moved it — I'd want to be absolutely certain.

Horsing around

Donald Landaiche, of Donaldsonville, says Chuck Falcon’s Saturday parking lot story "reminded me of signs we saw when my wife and I were on vacation in Amish country: Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

"In the parking lot of a shopping mall were two signs reading 'Buggy Parking Only.' There two very patient horses (buggies attached) waited for the owners. Glad I had my camera."

Special People Dept.

  • Irene Berger, of Metairie, celebrated her 100th birthday Sunday, July 28. She is a native of Lowell, Massachusetts.
  • V. J. Bella, former state representative and retired state fire marshal, celebrates his 92nd birthday Monday, July 29.
  • Marge Groves celebrated her 90th birthday Friday, July 26.
  • Pete and Nita DiBenedetto celebrated their 60th anniversary Sunday, July 28.

Cabbage man

After passing along the news about V.J. Bella's 92nd birthday, Steve Winham, of St. Francisvile, added this:

"I have breakfast with V.J. every month (usually at Frank’s) and he's as sharp as ever.

"He was a particularly colorful legislator. He was always a very strong advocate of mandatory helmets for motorcycle riders, and is most famous for his demonstrations of their effectiveness.

"He would put a head of cabbage inside a helmet and hit it with a baseball bat. It was not hard to imagine what would happen if he hit it without the helmet, and he may have even done that a time or two.

"This very entertaining demonstration ultimately enabled him to get his bill passed. It was briefly repealed during 'hog' rider Mike Foster’s administration, but went back on the books for good the year Foster left office."

Louisiana haiku

Haiku writer Dennis appears to have been doing some serious bird-watching:

"Eagles are soaring 

Eaglets are begging for food

Parents supply all."

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.