Lately I've been receiving alarming signs that staying at home might have lasting effects, even after the current pandemic has run its course:
For instance, Joanne Moulton, of New Orleans, says, "I may decide to stay home long after we get the 'all clear.' The list of what I want to do here at home grows longer and longer:
"I haven't sorted out all the packets of catsup, soy sauce, hot sauce, etc., that have been coming with delivered pizza, Chinese and sushi for years.
"I haven't met my goal of reusing, at least once, every piece of plastic that comes into the house.
"I haven't successfully grown one flowering plant from seed.
"I haven't written a note to each first cousin.
"I haven't sorted my lifetime collection of scarves, deciding which goes to which friend, relative or thrift store — or to be used to wrap presents to said friend or relative.
"I haven't finished the ultimate master grocery lists of all I buy from which stores, so later I'll have copies to merely check off what I need.
"I'm just too busy to go out!"
Speaking of staying home, Earl Newman says, "Paul Simon must have had a premonition when he composed the words to 'I Am a Rock' (a Simon & Garfunkel hit):
"One of the stanzas goes: 'Hidden in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me.'"
As I mention earlier, Father's Day is coming up on June 21. I know this because we're getting stories about Ol' Dad and his somewhat warped sense of humor — like this one from Rick Marshall:
"I'm sure your readers have stories of their dads pulling fast ones on their kids. I know this one was used by a few.
"In the late '50s and early '60s, headed for Florida on vacation, we approached the Mobile tunnel.
"Dad warned us that there were trolls in the tunnel that would kidnap children, and our only defense that would assure our safety was to smile all the way through the tunnel.
"When we broke out into sunshine exiting the tunnel, there were smiles all around, including Mom and Dad."
Diane Cohen comments on our story of a college restaurant named for a cannibal:
"I frequented the Alferd G. Packer Memorial Grill on campus when I was a student at University of Colorado — at the time, in fact, when the place was renamed for that infamous character.
"A specialty of the house was the cannibal burger, served raw, of course.
"The story we heard back then quoted Judge Gerry, the judge in Packer's murder trial: 'You et 5 of the 7 Dimmycrats in Hinsdale County, and for that, I sentence you to hang.'
"He said it more colorfully, according to a local newspaper story at the time."
(A bit too colorful, in fact, for this family newspaper.)
Johnny's biggest fan
Ron Swoboda comments on our Tuesday mention of quarterback Johnny Unitas and his 1965 visit to New Orleans with the Baltimore Colts for an exhibition game with the St. Louis Cardinals:
"That was my first year in the Major Leagues with the New York Mets. As a Baltimore boy, we worshipped 'Johnny U.'
"I have a miniature Colts helmet signed by Unitas on a shelf in my home office here in New Orleans, before which I genuflect upon entering that hallowed space."
Special People Dept.
Audrey and Lloyd Schroeder, of Gonzales, formerly of Harahan, celebrate their 74th anniversary Thursday, June 11.
"I originally lived in the parishes of Richland and LaSalle," says Libby Smith, of Baton Rouge.
"During COVID-19, I read the daily chart in The Advocate to keep up with new cases and deaths in each parish. My brother lives in Richland Parish, so I keep him abreast of the situation in Richland and LaSalle.
"The June 3 paper showed LaSalle with one death. On June 4, it showed 0 deaths.
"I told my brother we needed to move back to LaSalle; they were raising them from the dead!"