Dr. Louis L. Martin, DVM, of Lafayette, says he's been an usher at St. Peter's in Carencro for over 40 years, and has collected some memorable stories in that time:

"One Sunday I was passing the collection basket in front of an elderly lady. She started digging in her purse, so I stood there and waited. And waited…

"Finally, she took out her handkerchief and blew her nose. Luckily, she didn't put it in the basket!"

Here's another:

"Once a lady put some money in the basket, then reached into it. I pulled it away.

"After church she told me, 'You didn't give me my change.'

"I told her to take it out of next week's collection."  

Fencing lesson

Cindy Black Bouchie, of Pineville, says, "The story in your Monday column about Christmas trees and cats reminded me of when my now 31-year-old son was a toddler and very interested in the tree and all the ornaments he could reach.

"My very smart mother-in-law suggested instead of trying to keep my son from the tree, keep the tree from my son.

"So the tree went in the playpen and was toddler proof.

"Wasn’t very pretty, but it worked!"

Repeat performance

Roger Waggoner, of Lafayette, tells a lost and found story:

"A few years ago, as I was finishing my morning walk, I noticed an unusual-looking object in the street, along with some scraps of paper blowing in the breeze near the storm drain across from my house.

"The object turned out to be a wallet belonging to a neighbor, and the paper scraps were bills of a fairly large denomination.

"I was able to grab the money that had not literally gone down the drain. I walked with it and the wallet the half-block to my neighbor's residence.

"When the woman of the house came to the door, her first words were, 'You mean he did that AGAIN?'"

Here comes the son

Kathy says this happened after her heart bypass surgery in August: 

"On the day I was to be released, the young doctor came to let me know my son was there to pick me up.

"I hesitated, as my son lives in Florida.

"I told the doctor, 'No, that is my husband.'

"Ron is still smiling, and looking younger. I don’t know about me…"

Home sweet office

Marvin Borgmeyer, of Baton Rouge, says, "I think we need to stop calling it 'working from home' and start calling it 'living at work.'"

Special People Dept.

  • Rocco Ruggiero, of Jefferson, celebrates his 100th birthday Wednesday, Jan. 6. He is a World War II veteran.
  • Wilbert Terry, of Slidell, celebrates his 98th birthday Wednesday, Jan. 6. Originally from Napoleonville, he is a World War II veteran.
  • Gaston and Lorraine Cambre Gerald, of Baton Rouge, celebrated 67 years of marriage Saturday, Jan. 2. (My computer said 69 years in the Monday column.)

Grand opening

Courtland Chaney, of Baton Rouge, tells how not to deal with a stuck window.

"While attending LSU I lived in an older apartment near campus. One summer the landlord decided to improve the apartment by hiring painters to paint the interior. 

"When fall arrived and temperatures became more pleasant, I tried to open the windows.

"I encountered one window I could not open; the painters closed it when the paint was still wet and it was sealed shut. I mused regarding the idiocy.

"I decided the task simply required muscle. I grasped the handles to pull the bottom half of the window, using the type of movement required when doing curls with weights. It would not budge.

"I concluded the job simply required MORE muscle. With my back to the stuck window, I grasped the handles once more. I forcefully pulled up with my arms and leveraged the effort with the thrust of my entire body, expecting a breakthrough.

"And, yes, there was a breakthrough!

"As I pulled upward, my buttocks went through the glass. Broken glass fell all around my lower extremities. Fortunately, there were no physical injuries.

"My takeaway was that the painters were not alone in their idiocy…"

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.