Robert Cabes, a Lafayette attorney, says a reader's story about proper dress for a court appearance reminded him of his visit to the Allen Parish courthouse in Oberlin to argue a motion:

"The judge asked us to wait while he heard a divorce case. The soon-to-be ex-wife, dressed in her best going-to-church jeans, came forward, accompanied by two friends, similarly garbed."

Robert says the process in Louisiana is that the person asking for the divorce, usually the wife, "will come forward and her lawyer will have her testify about how the soon-to-be ex-husband had not been a good husband, drank too much, etc. The two witnesses will swear this is correct.

"Most times, the husband chooses not to appear, but in this case, a deputy sheriff came in with the young husband, dressed in fashionable orange jail garb, with chains and handcuffs dragging.

"We concluded immediately that he had no chance of winning any argument that morning."

Little but tough

Comments on lightweight football players in years past brought a response from Max Emfinger, of Plaquemine, founder and chairman of the All-American Bowl Game Classic for high school players.

Max was a tailback and safety on the Brownwood High School's 1960 football team, which won the Texas state championship.

The heaviest player on defense weighed 184 pounds. Weights on the offensive line ranged from 149 to 178 pounds.

The quarterback, at 178 pounds, outweighed the fullback, at 171.

Other players, who back then played both offense and defense, had weights of 144, 150, 156, 161, etc.

These days kids that size would probably be offered positions as water boys.   

Room with a view

Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, has a question for Mr. Answer Man:

"While watching a long-ago edition of 'The Lone Ranger,' which involved a prisoner about to be hanged, I was reminded about just how many westerns I had seen with incarcerated cowboys.

"Was there a requirement that every cell in every jail in the old West face the gallows? Just wondering."

Mr. Answer Man says, "Yes, just as it was required that all heroes wore white hats and rode white or palomino horses, while bad guys were attired in black and mounted on dark steeds. There was also a rule that when the good guy and the bad guy faced off on the town's dusty main street, the latter always drew first, before the hero plugged him."       

Words and music

A reader who wishes to remain anonymous, "because my friends would never let me live this down," tells this story:

"I was recently watching a popular video of David Doring, a well known world-class pan flute player, playing 'Amazing Grace' in the Andes Mountains in South America.

"The words to this song are hard to remember, and were being displayed at the bottom of the screen to accompany the music.

"I was singing along, and my wife was listening in the next room. A screen came up and I continued to sing with the words, until both my wife and I caught my error — as I started singing ‘Please subscribe to…’ ”

Cruelty to animals?

Speaking of words on TV screens, I was watching a football game the other day where the announcer told his buddy in the broadcast booth you had to "tip your cap" to a player for his efforts on the field.

However, the closed caption (often the most entertaining part of a broadcast) told us he said "tip your cat."

Lady Katherine remarked that while she had heard of cow tipping, this was a new one. And she said she pitied the person who tried this on a cat who didn't want to be tipped…  

Special People Dept.

  • Helen K. Daigle celebrates her 93rd birthday Wednesday, Jan. 23.
  • Anne Ashton, of The Haven in Baton Rouge, celebrates her 91st birthday Wednesday Jan. 23.

Call to beauty

Ronnie Stutes was writing me about annoying sales calls when he got one, with the caller ID showing "Sally's Beauty." The sales person said he was calling from Ronnie's "orthopedic center."  

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.