If you're tired of squirrel stories, here's a golfing story. (Full disclosure: it does have a squirrel in it. …)
David Marmillion Sr., of Terrytown, says his buddy Max Luna has disliked squirrels since they invaded his attic years ago:
"One morning, we were playing golf and were on a green getting ready to putt when Max noticed a squirrel on the edge of the green looking right at us — it was like he recognized Max.
"Max, outraged, yelled at him, and the squirrel took off like a jet, right across the green. Max instinctively threw his golf ball at the intruder, and it hit the squirrel right in the head. He dropped immediately on the green.
"We didn’t know what to do and were scared to approach. Is he playing dead so we would get ambushed?
"We carefully walked toward the little devil, clubs in our hands. It jumped up and retreated up the nearest tree. Max went on to bogey the hole.
"The squirrels had won again."
Speaking of golf, Richard Kaplan, of Baton Rouge, says, "A.J. Grimes's Friday story about the raccoon and the 2-iron reminds me of something the great golfer — and great character — Lee Trevino once said.
"Having previously been struck by lightning, he was asked what he would do if he was on the course again when a thunderstorm struck.
"He replied, 'I'd hold my 1-iron over my head and run like hell for the clubhouse.'
"When asked why in the world he'd do that, he said, 'Because even God can't hit a 1-iron!'"
The current rash of hurricanes has left behind many devastated areas, from Texas to Florida and from Puerto Rico to many other Caribbean islands. The loss of electric power is one of the major problems caused by these storms.
Sam Timpa remembers how it was here in Louisiana:
"A few years ago, my wife and I had to live without power for eight days after Hurricane Gustav.
"It was bad, but the worst part of it were the nights without air conditioning and fear of what might happen with the next storm.
"Later, I summarized my thoughts in a short poem, 'Between Gustav and Ike With No Electricity:'
"Now I lay me down to sweat.
Another storm, another threat.
If the next one hits before I wake,
I pray the Lord my house DON’T TAKE!"
Marsha R. continues our seminar on GPS voices:
"I got tired of the officious female voice and strangled street names on my GPS and decided to try another voice.
"She sounds young and laid-back but is very casual in her directives. She says things like 'Turn right ahead,' and 'Turn left.' No street names at all.
"I had to apologize and return to Miss Prissy."
Special People Dept.
Elaine Gomez Cortelloni, of Lake Sherwood Village Retirement Community, celebrates her 97th birthday Tuesday, Sept. 26.
The great flood
Sandy Shahady says she "cracked up" when she read the Monday story from John Torbert, about safety showers in chemistry labs, and decided to share her experience:
"My husband was teaching science in a brand new school. The labs were SO impressive. All the bells and whistles.
"Well, one evening he was showing some people around and pointing everything out. As he talked about the shower, on a (stupid) impulse, I pulled the chain.
"Oh my gosh, you never saw such horror on everyone's face — especially mine.
"And when John says 'a LARGE amount of water is released,' he isn't kidding. I thought it would never stop."
Carl Spillman discusses a common Louisiana problem:
"Self-deception is defined as the act of lying to yourself or of making yourself believe something that isn't really true.
"Example: this year, I will not take LSU football so seriously."
Don't blame her!
Algie Petrere refers to the Saturday column, where she told a friend's bad joke:
"I had a revelation. When I send a corny joke or bad pun, I will credit one of my friends. I can continue this until I run out of stories — or friends, whichever comes first."