Dear Smiley: When I began to practice law, the only advertisement an attorney could make was an ad in the local paper no larger than one inch high and three inches across.
It could only state your name, the address of your office and perhaps a phone number — very little information.
Now, if you’re not talking about big trucks, sizable judgments or “free” consultation and "no recovery, no fee," you’re not doing too well in the practice!
Yep, the lawyer jokes are well deserved!
Speaking of which…
Dear Smiley: The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble space telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.
Dear Smiley: In 1974 the film "The Longest Yard" was to open in Tallahassee and Burt Reynolds, a Florida State grad, was to attend.
Those of us in the fine arts programs were sure that Reynolds would make a donation of a scholarship for some starving actor. After all, Reynolds was a famous actor, right?
Wrong! He gave the dang scholarship to the football program, which was already rolling in money!
Looking too closely
Dear Smiley: Reading Sarah Stravinska's Rhesus monkey dissection story in last Saturday's paper reminded me of my 1960s summer biology class, when the instructor directed us to dissect and identify various parts of the crawfish.
My enjoyment of that critter tumbled when I discovered how it answered the "call of nature."
Over the years I have gained a bit more liking for the crawfish, but when I see people enjoying boiled crawfish parts, I think about the number of those who actually enjoy that specific part that I avoid!
Dear Bobbie: Just so you know — if this was an effort to turn me off boiled crawfish, you've failed miserably.
When purple reigned
Dear Smiley: Mention of K&B drug stores in your Tuesday column brought back so many memories to this New Orleans girl.
When I took my fifth-grade students on a field trip to The Advocate, we were all fascinated with the huge container of K&B purple ink made especially for their full-page ads. .
Their television jingle will forever be stuck in my head; “Look on almost any corner, and what do you see?…."
And purple "koozies" with the K&B logo were given out as favors to their wedding guests by my great-nephew Ben and his bride Katie.
Damp smart reply
Dear Smiley: In the category of "comeback replies," I was leaving the bowling alley one morning after our Seniors League games, and at the exit it was obvious that a brief shower had just finished on the parking lot.
One of the people with me asked, "When did it start raining?"
Without any hesitation, I replied, "Genesis 2, Verse 6."
Fort Smith, Arkansas
Dear Smiley: Am I the only person who finds it offensive when New Orleans is referred to as “NOLA?”
MARY KAY COWEN
Dear Mary Kay: As one who has written a few headlines in his day, I find it hard to object to shorter versions of any words. Of course, "N.O." is even shorter…
The "W" word
Dear Smiley: At our recent bimonthly meeting of some Exxon retirees (aka "Old Cronies' Lunch"), someone mentioned they didn't know how they ever found time to work.
Can you remember long ago when you were working?
Dear Marvin: Yes, in my youth I was a grocery bagger at the H.G. Hill store in Baton Rouge, on Florida near Acadian. I still remember the Baggers' Code: "Cans on the bottom, eggs on the top."
A grave matter
Dear Smiley: Regarding Paul Aucoin's story in the Wednesday column, about breaking down in front of Roselawn Monuments and being surprised at the wonderful aid he got:
He should not have been surprised. Those cemetery people would be the last to let you down…
LOREN C. SCOTT