Donald Landaiche, of Donaldsonville, says our stories about witnesses for a golfer's hole-in-one "brought back a very painful memory.

"One evening a friend asked me if I would like to go bowling. I agreed, and we went to the nearby lanes.

"It was late in the evening and we were the only bowlers in the building, and the only people except for the caretakers.

"We paid our fees and bowled our first game. I did rather well, but the second game was something else. Strike came after strike, and unbelievably I bowled a perfect game.

"Sadly, no one was around to notice. Sadder still, no one would believe me. No matter how often I went bowling, I could not repeat my perfect game.

"Maybe I'll try golf. That is, if I'm not too old."

(Wait a minute, Donald. You had a FRIEND there as a witness to your feat, and people STILL didn't believe you? I think you guys should be concerned about your credibility. And by the way, I know some extremely senior golfers, so if you're on this side of the grass, you're not too old.)

After the fall

Ronnie Stutes, of Baton Rouge, says, "I have my personal favorite to win the Heisman Trophy.

"However, I am concerned that, after last week's game, if my choice wins, the Heisman Trophy Trust will present him with a new version of the trophy, with the figure atop it with one hand cradling the football and the other behind his back, trying to pull up his pants."

Politeness counts

"Here is another item for your telemarketer file," says Roger Waggoner, of Lafayette:

"My phone rang and I answered, 'Hello.' A voice on the other end responded, 'Hello, Mr. Wah-gon-er?'

"Knowing what was coming and wanting to save time, I said, ‘I'm fine, thank you.’

"Sticking to his script, the guy said, 'How are you this evening?'

"Having already politely answered his question, I remained silent. After a few seconds he hung up."

Playing possum?

Thelma Stalcup, of Mandeville, adds to our stories of encounters with roly-poly bugs:

"While we were visiting relatives in north Texas with our 4-year-old granddaughter (who lives in Mandeville), her aunt introduced her to roly-polys.

"When touched, the roly-poly rolled up. Our granddaughter asked, 'Did it pass?’ ”

Bugs and more

Mary Pramuk, of Baton Rouge, continues our critter conversation:

"I wish I had known that roly-polys were good for compost piles a few years ago when I had my first and last compost — when some knuckleheads that didn’t know how to keep their wheels on the road kept 'landscaping' our lawn and my husband used compost to fill in the ruts.

"When I stuck the shovel into the pile, a bunch of angry little blacksnakes stuck their heads out with 'What the hell?' looks. It was their nice warm home.

"I managed to get some compost to fill the ruts, and a reminder from my husband that he had warned me snakes will get into compost piles."

Special People Dept.

  • Peggy Welch Wooldridge celebrates her 100th birthday Friday, Oct. 25.
  • Zepher Dean, of Denham Springs, celebrates her 100th birthday Friday, Oct. 25. She is a former resident of Alexandria.
  • Clifford J. Loudon, of Walker, celebrates his 95th birthday Saturday, Oct. 26. He is an Army Air Force veteran of World War II, having served in the European Theater.

And off we go!

It's time for another of my Well-Deserved Vacations, so Lady Kathrine and I are headed for Bubba's Exxon, Motel and Bait Shop in Back Brusly — with swimsuits and sunscreen.

Bubba says after he won a truckload of sand from a truck driver in a bourre game, he had it dumped on the banks of the bayou to make "Bubba's Beach."

"It's real nice," he told me. "The water's almost clear, and that big ol' gator hasn't been around for a while."

Bubba added that despite the state's oyster shortage, his All You Dare to Eat Buffet will be featuring fried oysters.

He explained, "I've got this buddy in Colorado. ..."

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.