Bob Woods, of Mandeville, says, "When I was growing up, on Springfield Lane off Scenic Highway in Baton Rouge, we had a Morning Advocate deliveryman named Bud Rankin — great guy. He drove a Jeep station wagon with wooden sides.

"Dad would see him coming and meet him in the driveway and they’d have a big conversation on current affairs.

"Dad commented to Bud one day that it would really be nice if Bud could put the paper in the living room so he wouldn’t have to walk out to get it.

"The next morning, about 5:30, there was a loud 'whap' on the front screen door.

"Dad got up to see, and the paper was on the porch. (Bud didn’t just roll papers; they were folded in a square shape and would sail like a Frisbee.)

"The next morning, the same thing — but the paper knocked out the upper screen panel.

"The following morning, dad met Bud and told him he’d torn the screen door. Unfazed, Bud replied, 'You told me you’d like the paper in the living room. Well, get up off your butt and open the door. I try to keep my customers happy.'”

Sound familiar?

Daryl Bert continues our discussion of TV/movie cliches:

"Have you noticed that two statements are nearly always said in TV crime labs — 'Boss, you got to see this.' And the response, 'What you got?'"   

And in old black and white horror movies, as they enter the old house: "I can't put my finger on it, but there's something strange here. Something…evil…"

And in sci-fi movies, there's always a scientist who says of the murderous alien, "We can't destroy him; he's from a civilization far more advanced than ours. There's so much he can teach us…" This is right before Mr. Advanced Civilization does him in…   

Ancient television

Marvin Borgmeyer says young folks who don't recall black and white TVs won't recall these comments:

"You can hardly see for all the snow."

"Spread the rabbit ears out."

"Good night, David. Good night, Chet."

Raccoon wrangler

Mary Pramuk has a pet story:

"Our daughter, who now lives in Colorado, brought us a recording she made of blood-curdling cries, loud scratching and bumping noises of a struggle coming out of her fireplace chimney.

"The exterminator surmised it was a raccoon trying to find a home for her brood by evicting a nest of birds with other ideas. He smoked them all out.

"This brought back memories of an event just as scary.

"A dear friend in Denham Springs, now deceased, invited us to his back room overlooking the river and said, 'Watch this' as he stepped out on the deck.

"In a few minutes a pack of raccoons came up and entered the room. He had laid out food for them, which they fearlessly ate, then took their leave.

"Some of them had names — 'Grandma' couldn’t always make it up to the house.

"He obviously loved this routine…"

Special People Dept.

  • John Gaidry, of Lafayette, celebrated his 91st birthday Thursday, Feb. 21.
  • Bob Gullic, of Baton Rouge, celebrates his 90th birthday Friday, Feb. 22. He's an Air Force veteran of the Korean War and "a 46-year veteran of Printing Incorporated."
  • Helen and Jim Zaunbrecher, of Crowley, celebrate their 65th anniversary Sunday, Feb. 24.
  • Allen and Geraldine Allemond, of Prairieville, celebrate their 60th anniversary Friday, Feb. 22.

Colorful fans

Jacob Scardina says, regarding a recent column topic:

"Mismatched shoes not always accidental:

"When LSU played Nebraska in the Sugar Bowl during Mike Archer’s reign, my twin sons Bryan and Ryan, my son-in-law Mike and I bought four pair of Keds — two purple and two gold (bright yellow).

"We each wore purple and gold shoes to the game. Unfortunately, our dedication to the colors did not help our Tigers."

Dinner cruise

Wayne LeCompte, of Metaire, appears to be over-meditated:

Here's his Thought for the Day:

"While in deep prayer and meditation, I came up with this thought:

"Noah was a brave man to sail on a wooden boat with two termites…"

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.