This happened way back when my current spouse, Lady Katherine, was just Spanish Town Neighbor Katherine. She reminded me of it the other day, so I feel the need to once more defend myself.

We used to have neighborhood barbecues; lawn chairs and ice chests around a portable grill, drinking root beer and eating burned meat.

One of the other neighbors had a three-legged dog, Maggie. She was an affable pooch, and everyone loved her.

At one barbecue, when I sat my plate on the ground so I could take a drink, I saw Maggie hobbling over to sample my ribs.

I put my foot out gently to stop her until I could retrieve my plate. That's when I heard my bride-to-be exclaim, "Smiley kicked Maggie!"

Thus was born the legend of "The guy who kicks three-legged dogs."

That was some 30 years ago, but neighbors who were there still delight in informing Spanish Town newcomers about it. I fear the story will never die.

When I stand before St. Peter at the gates of heaven, I can imagine this:

"Well, Mr. Anders, let's see what we have here. You've never made a graven image; good. You've been kind to your wife's cats, and once emptied a litter box; no greater devotion than that! Everything seems in order, so welcome … wait, what's this? You kicked a three-legged dog?"

Oh. Hell.

Windup toy

Ferd Guttierrez, of Lacombe, brings back Volkswagen Beetle tales:

"In 1956 my buddy and I, in my 1951 Ford, were approaching an intersection when a small, funny-looking car passed. There was a large windup key on the trunk.

"In total disbelief, we gave chase, but were not able to gain on it.

"Later we learned it was a VW Beetle, and the key was a joke."   

Another plague

Carol S., of Kenner, says, "The fear and uncertainty attributed to COVID-19 is unchartered territory for many of us. However, it is very familiar to me.

"I lived through a polio epidemic as a young child in Shreveport in the 1950s. Swimming pools and movie theaters were closed during 'polio season.'

"In 1956 polio was conquered by a vaccine invented by Dr. Jonas Salk. I vividly remember getting the vaccination at my elementary school, but succumbing to a fainting spell."

Drink American

Bill Huey has another "Johnny Unitas in New Orleans" story, one he says he read long ago:

Seems the great Baltimore Colts quarterback was dining at Antoine’s when the waiter took his order, and Unitas added, “And bring me some suds.”

The waiter said, “Suds?”

“Yeah, a beer. You have beer, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, sir,” the waiter said, “We have Heineken, Lowenbrau. …”

Unitas interrupted: “I want some American suds.”

Bill says, "I think they brought him a Budweiser."

He adds, "People here may not have known who Johnny Unitas was, but I reckon they know his successor."

That would be a lad from Ruston named Bert Jones. The LSU legend was drafted by the Colts in 1973, and was named the NFL MVP in 1976.

Special People Dept.

  • Faye Allain Couvillon, of Baton Rouge, celebrates her 92nd birthday Tuesday, June 23.
  • Shirley Farnsworth, of Lafayette, celebrates her 90th birthday Tuesday, June 23.
  • Jacob and Oceania C. Scardina, of Baton Rouge, celebrate their 64th anniversary Tuesday, June 23.
  • Dee and Duane Carr celebrate their 60th year of marriage Tuesday, June 23.
  • Phillip and Bonnie Faller, of Gonzales, celebrate their 58th anniversary Tuesday, June 23.

Thoughts for the Day

  • From Francis Celino, The Metairie Miscreant: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use making a fool of yourself."
  • From Glenn Balentine, of Prairieville: “If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving might not be the sport for you.”

Who's counting?

Mike Manes says our recent tale of the Colorado cannibal who was berated by the judge at his trial because "You et five of the seven Dimmycrats" in that county, "reminded me of Boudreaux discussing his breakfast.

"He said, 'Those biscuits sure were good; I et seven!'

"Comeaux said, 'You mean ate.'

"Boudreaux responded, 'Maybe it was eight I et!’ ”


Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.