Searching for a story about Smiley Sr. for this pre-Father's Day column, I recalled one told to me by a salesman buddy of his:

My dad, who traveled 13 states selling pork for Swift & Co., was having breakfast at a hotel with some other salesmen when he had this exchange with a waiter:

Dad: "I'll have bacon and eggs, coffee and orange juice."

Waiter: "Sorry, sir, but we're out of juice."

"What, out of all juice? I always have breakfast juice!"

"Well, sir, there was a big convention. …"

"You have wine, don't you?"

"Yes sir, but. …"

"Well, wine is made from grapes, and grapes are fruit, so wine is fruit juice, right?"

"Uh, yes, I guess so."

"So bring me a glass of wine with my breakfast."

"Sir, it's 7 in the morning, and. …"

"Go on, son, I know you can do it!"

The guy who told me the story said the other salesmen sat in awe as they watched my old man contentedly sipping his vino as he enjoyed his bacon and eggs — with grits, of course ("You can keep your damn potatoes!").

Scary green stuff

Liz Treppendahl comments on our series about folks from drought-stricken areas experiencing Louisiana rain:

"Realtor Rolanda Mayer’s story about the couple from California who did not buy a house here because the rain-lightning-thunder scared their children reminded me of another story.

"My grandson, who was not quite walking at the time, was visiting his Charleston, South Carolina, grandparents.

"His grandfather held him by his arms and slowly lowered him to the grass. As soon as his feet touched the grass, he began screaming and crying.

"My daughter and family live in D.C., and this was the first time my grandson had experienced grass!"

Some insult!

Mike Williams, of Krotz Springs, says our twins stories brought to mind this tale:

"I know a set of identical twins, who shall remain nameless, who when they were real young got into an argument.

"One called the other 'ugly,' to which she replied, 'I may be ugly, but at least I don’t look like you.’ ”

Special People Dept.

  • Harding W. Bossier celebrates his 100th birthday Friday, June 19. He is a World War II veteran, a former LSU student and a longtime employee at the Esso/Exxon refinery in Baton Rouge.
  • Harold Lusignan, of St. Bernard, formerly of Metairie, celebrates his 96th birthday Saturday, June 20. He is a World War II veteran.
  • Joe Joubert, aka "Jeaux Jeauxbear," of St. Francisville, celebrates his 95th birthday Friday, July 19. He's an avid golfer, and a reliable source says he can "out-drive most of his younger buddies in the senior league at Dumas Golf Course."
  • Owen and Lorraine LaCour celebrate 80 years of marriage Friday, June 19. They were married at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Church in New Orleans.
  • Sam and Bessie Pizzolato, of St. Gabriel, celebrate their 65th anniversary Friday, June 19. She is the former Bessie Cifreo, of Ventress.
  • Stephen and Gilda Madaffari, of Baton Rouge, celebrate their 50th anniversary Saturday, June 20.
  • JoAnn and Emile Sirchia, of Baton Rouge, celebrate their 50th anniversary Saturday, June 20. Emile, a longtime barber, says he could probably write his own column with the stories that have been told in his barber chair.

Clean thoughts

Thomas Murrel, of Church Point, offers this suggestion for the 20 seconds it takes to properly wash our hands and help keep our current plague at bay:

"With all the hate and turmoil that is going on in this country and in the world, how about saying five Hail Marys?"

A late supper

Sandy Shahady says, "I had to laugh when someone finally mentioned the Cannibal Burger (raw hamburger, raw egg, raw onion) at Camellia Grill in New Orleans.

"I had one of those babies! Was it good, you ask? Hard to remember. It was about 3 a.m. …"

At 3 a.m., it was delicious! It ranked right up there with another great 3 a.m. food — a Lucky Dog with chili, cheese and onions, consumed while leaning on a lamp post on Bourbon Street. 


Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.