"We all know and hate traffic photo tickets," says Danny Nodurft. "When I got one on Saturday, I looked at it and it was my car. However, I wasn't driving it. Turns out my son did. So, in mild protest, I sent the following missive with a check:

"'I, as an officer of the court (attorney), swear that I was not driving my car on the noted date, time or street; however, and unfortunately for me, my son was.

"'He was in town for his wedding, using my car to run last-minute errands, such as getting his marriage license and other wedding related items, and was probably talking to his fiancée and not paying attention.

"'Therefore, this is his LAST wedding present. Enclosed is my check in the amount of $75.00 in full and final payment of his ticket and his wedding.

"'Father of the Groom'"

Orange you Yankees? 

Gary G. Gremillion says, "My wife Susan and I were sitting in our car waiting to attend the LSU-Syracuse game when she remarked that we had yet to see any Syracuse fans walk by.

"Agreeing with her, I suggested that we offer some pepper jack stuffed Billy’s boudin balls to the first Orange fans we saw, to witness their reaction.

"Within minutes a young couple dressed in blue and orange walked past, so I got out of the car and asked if they were hungry. They nodded yes, and I walked over to them asking if they liked boudin balls.

"Expecting at least a surprised look, they both said, 'Sure, we love boudin balls. Where did you get them?'

"Imagine my surprise. They were from New Orleans and had just driven into town from New Iberia."

Strong but wet

Doug Johnson, of Watson, adds to our discussion of safety showers, which release large quantities of water in the event of chemical accidents:  

"A few decades ago I worked at a plant with many safety showers, one of which had a very rusty chain and handle.

"As a group walked past it, one remarked to another, 'That shower has been rusted so long that no one can open it.'

"That comment was made for the purpose of teasing another member of the group, who was noted for bragging about his strength. He immediately jerked the chain — and flooded himself.

"Most of his strength was physical."

Well-groomed rodent

Butch Felterman, of Patterson (which he terms "Truth City" in a transparent effort to lend credence to his tale), says, "A recent writer to your column said the use of a mirror was effective in keeping squirrels away from his bird feeder.

"I carefully affixed a mirror to our feeder and began surveillance. Well, a squirrel approached the mirror, spit on his paw and began grooming the hair on his head."

Special People Dept.

  • John Torbert, of Tioga, celebrates his 93rd birthday on Thursday, Sept. 28.
  • Helen Zumo celebrates her 93rd birthday on Thursday, Sept. 28.
  • Catherine Gegenheimer, of Harvey, celebrates her 93rd birthday on Thursday, Sept. 28. During World War II she worked at Todd-Johnson Shipyard while her husband was overseas.
  • John Vining, of Amite, celebrated his 91st birthday on Tuesday, Sept. 26.
  • Eleanor Hopkins, of Branch, celebrated her 90th birthday on Wednesday, Sept. 27.
  • Gertrude VanSickle, of Santa Rosa, California, celebrated her 90th birthday on Monday, Sept. 25. She is a former Baton Rouge resident currently visiting family in Walker.

Husband's lament

Francis Celino, the Metairie Miscreant, is upset with Dudley Lehew, of Marrero.

In the Wednesday column, Dudley told of romancing his spouse with a catered candlelight dinner on the Port Allen levee at dusk, as the lights of Baton Rouge illuminated the scene.

Says Francis: "Dudley sure ruined it for every other husband. Don't print stuff like that unless you were that romantic."

(Actually, Francis, I think of myself as very romantic. Just ask Lady Katherine, my current wife.)

Male suffering

Brave husband Richard Guidry, of Zachary, says, "During labor the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a cold."

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0371 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.