It's time to revisit a topic we bring up from time to time: song titles. 

Seldon McCleskey, of Lafayette, says, "While searching the internet for something else, I ran across a website which is nothing more than a list of the all-time worst actual country song titles."

Some of Seldon's favorites are:

"You're the Reason Our Baby's So Ugly."

"Bubba Shot the Jukebox."

"My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend (And I Sure Do Miss Him.)"

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away."

"I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling."

And this classic, "I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight ('Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.)"

Which reminds me

There are just too many of these great country song titles to ever cover completely here. But I recall one I especially liked. It's a popular one by Roy Clark, about bidding farewell to the former lady in his life as her bus pulls away: "Thank God and Greyhound you're gone."

Then there's a much more obscure one by a female singer who, if she wasn't Tammy Wynette, should have been. It's about a woman lamenting the downfall of her guy, who's become something of a barfly: "The man they sweep up off the floor used to sweep me off my feet."

Mastering computers

Our Thursday seminar on computers reminded me of the day the Morning Advocate newsroom started using a computer (a giant IBM that powered terminals located around the room in "pods," which sounded like science-fiction at the time).

We were standing around looking at our terminals with fear and trepidation. The old guys were chewing their cigars and predicting the end of newspapers.

Then Gibbs Adams, our veteran court reporter, came rushing in to file a story from a Baton Rouge trial. (Gibbs had only one speed — full out.)

He glanced at his terminal, asked the Technical Person (assigned to help us with the transition) how to turn it on.

Then he started banging out a story in his usual two-fingered manner (he was the fastest typist I've ever known). When he was done, he asked the Technical Person how to send the story to the copy desk.

After she told him and he sent the story off, he rushed out to cover another court case — without a single word about the new technology.  

Those of us who had watched him in awe sat down and went to work, convinced now that this computer thing was not such a big deal after all…       

Special People Dept.

— Mary Venterella Dorman, of Metairie, celebrated her 106th birthday (which happened on June 19) at a family party Sunday, June 27.

— Helen Orgeron, of Harvey, celebrates her 98th birthday Friday, July 2.

— Alice Duff Smith, of Baytown, Texas, celebrates her 97th birthday Sunday, July 4. She grew up in Walker.

— Betty Bourgeois, of Houma, celebrates her 91st birthday Thursday, July 2.

Lousy nickname

Mariano Hinojosa, of Baton Rouge, says, "When living in Prairieville I hired a handyman, James, to work on a drainage project.

"James brought a helper he called '32'.

"When I asked the obvious question, James explained that the man walked into a Gonzales watering hole one night and none of the regulars knew his name.

"So someone noticed the clock read 9:32, and promptly gave him the nickname, "32".

Appropriate nickname

Algie Petrere, of Central, tells of a nickname that was more of an accurate description of the guy in question:

"When I read the stories about nicknames, I think of my favorite great-uncle, Oscar.

"To a few of the relatives, he was Oscar; to everyone else in rural Texas, he was just known as 'Barefoot' Davis.

"He never wore shoes … ever. He walked everyplace he went in the small town of Anderson. He went to town; he went to church. He was always barefooted.

"I didn't question it until there was no one left to ask. I wish I had gotten curious sooner."


Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.