We've had several suggestions from readers about how to deal with annoying phone calls from folks trying to extract money from us. Olive M. Campbell's tale is one of my favorites.

Olive, a resident of Williamsburg Senior Living Community in Baton Rouge, doesn't own a computer. But she says she was "getting the 'computer virus scam' calls quite often.

"The last time, before he could get into his spiel, I said, all in one breath, 'My computer caught fire last week, burned down five units in the nursing home; they put me on the street and I am living under the interstate.'

"No more calls! The 'virus' must be cured." 

Where's the beef?

Recently Russ Wise, of LaPlace, complained about a meatless burger he was inadvertently served at a fast-food place.

We might have located the chef who committed that atrocity:

Stewart (he doesn't give his last name so he can't be traced) offers this confession: "A recent article reminded me of my days working at McDonald's.

"You could only order from the outdoor window, and the menu was simple. The 15-cent hamburger came with a dab of mustard, ketchup, pickle and a burger. Two burgers made a double burger.

"One day when I was cooking burgers, someone ordered a double burger. So I took the meat off one bun to quickly make the double burger.

"Only when a customer returned the hamburger did I discover that I had forgotten to replace the burger on the empty bun.

"Very embarrassing for a young newbie. ..."

How sweet it is!

Diane T. Martin, of Morgan City, says, "The childhood memories of sandwiches by Carol Stutzenbecker lists familiar ones for all of us ’50s kids.

"She, however, did not list my favorite after-school snack: condensed milk on Holsum bread.

"Yummy! I still dream of those sandwiches, but my waistline won’t allow me to indulge."

Scary name!

"I have been reading some of the 'silly team names' that people have been sending in," says Vince Caruso, of Marrero.

"Here’s a good one that should really strike fear into the hearts of all opponents.

"How about, 'The New Orleans Baby Cakes?'

"Oops, we already have that one, don’t we?"

(Unfortunately, yes. ...)

Go, Prague, go!

Algie Petrere, of Central, asks, about our team mascot contest, "Do the entries for the mascots have to be from this country?"

(No, I don't see why we can't suggest team names for those in other countries — let's just say they're for soccer teams.)

She says some international team mascot names recently showed up in her inbox:

"My favorites were: Brussels Sprouts, Vienna Sausages, Hungary Jacks (hmm... I see a trend).

"Then there were Manila Folders, Czech Bouncers, Seoul Brothers and Peking Toms.

"I wasn't sure I should mention the Prague Tologists."

Special People Dept.

  • Paula Trapani Bourg celebrated her 100th birthday on Sunday, July 29. She was an early and longtime contributor to this column.
  • Med and Mae Hogg celebrate their 70th anniversary on Monday, July 30.

Swims like a rock

Karen Poirrier, of Lutcher, says, "To keep her involved in activities during the summer months, daughter-in-law Ann enrolled 4-year-old granddaughter Kenley in a number of camps.

"As each camp ended, I asked Kenley if she enjoyed participating and what she enjoyed most.

"When asked about swimming, she excitedly responded, ‘I swam all the way across Maw Maw Sandy's pool, but I was sinking!’ ”

Child care expert

Warren Byrd, of Baton Rouge, says, "With the passing of Dr. Benjamin Spock, every parent has been waiting for someone to fill his void.

"It seems that Juliana Reed, 4-year-old daughter of Lauren and Josh Reed, is the leading candidate.

"A few days ago, Juliana was playing with several of her dolls while she was in the care of her grandmother Arlene Byrd (Juliana calls her 'Arle').

"Juliana pulled Arle to the side, so her dolls couldn’t hear, and whispered, 'Arle, when your children are annoying you or misbehaving, what you do is buy them a toy or take them to Chuck-E-Cheese. That’s how you get your children to behave.'

"Looks like Juliana has written the first chapter of her child-behavior book. ..."

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.