"A little anecdote from the past concerning keeping barnyard animals in one's backyard," says Duke Rivet, of Baton Rouge:

"My cousin Ron Reggio, who lives in Metairie, tells the story of a Muscovy duck he 'inherited' and put in his backyard. According to Ron, the duck was both ugly and cantankerous.

"One day, his daughter Heather, about 3 or 4 at the time, came running in the house crying that the duck was chasing her around the yard.

"Cousin Ron told her she was smarter and faster than the duck, and to go back outside and show the duck 'who was the boss.'

"A little later, Ron saw his daughter running like crazy, with the duck holding on to the back of her shirt with its bill, and Heather screaming, 'You da boss! You da boss!’ ”

Funny kids

Since Walt Handelsman's most recent caption contest, in Monday's Advocate, was won by a 9-year-old, I guess I'll have to practice one-upmanship and pass along this story involving a 6-year-old:

Paula King, of Gretna, heard this from a budding comedian, age 6:

"What do you call it when a T-Rex stubs his toe? A dinosore."

More kid stuff

Speaking of youthful humor, Algie Petrere came across this timely tale:

"The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.

“ ‘We live in a great country,' she announced. 'One of the things we should be happy about is in this country we are all free.'

"Trevor, a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, 'I'm not free. I'm four!’ ”

Car nostalgia

"On the subject of things you don’t see anymore," says Chuck Falcon, of Donaldsonville, "you ever notice you don’t see two-tone cars anymore, or cars with vinyl roof coverings, or whitewall tires?"

Not to mention fender skirts…

Love those libraries

Harry Clark, of Lafayette, says, "Charlanne Cress's kudos for the Zachary library in the Friday column can be extended to most libraries.

"I am an avid reader; I got my first Kindle many years ago.

"One day I discovered that the library systems loan out e-books and audio books as well as the dead tree type. All you need is a library card and a computer.

"I read book reviews, and as soon as I see a book I want to read I put my name on the waiting list. If they haven't bought the book yet, they still let you sign up for it.

"I'm surprised that more people who love to read don't use this service."

Sign language

Dennis LeBlanc, of Covington, says, "Meredith, my wife of 31 years, sent in her DNA sample to an ancestry service.

"When the results came back, her last digit was a dollar sign."

Dry humor

Speaking of marital relations, Rick Marshall is having some trouble understanding his spouse: 

"So the wife buys three umbrellas — one for home, one for the office, and one for the car — in a brilliant burst of female logic which I must confess completely escaped me.

"The only question I had (which I asked myself) was how long will it be before they all wind up in the same place?"

Asking only YOURSELF is a good move, Richard, and should result in a long and happy marriage.

A country thing

Kathy Higgins, of Metairie, learned about city vs. country when, as a child, she asked her New Orleans grandmother, born in 1899, if she had used an outhouse:

"With a horrified expression and indignant tone of voice, she said, 'We’re CITY people!'” 

Go to Hell

Our Hell, Michigan, stories brought this note from Frank Fronczek:

"Beside U.S. 90 in Hondo, Texas, is a sign saying, 'This is God's Country, please don't drive through it like Hell.'

"It's been there all my life, and I've always wondered how they drive in Hell. Now we know where to go to find out."

Louisiana Haiku

Midsummer pastime

Watching Gulf on weather map

Planning to lay low  

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.