"As usual," says Tom Boone, of Gonzales, "we have the boys, ages 7 and 10, for the summer. This comes with an unending barrage of questions.

"'Pawpaw, who would win in a fight, a porcupine or an armadillo? Pawpaw, how hard is that pregnancy test they’re talking about on TV? Pawpaw, how does a lobster pee. Pawpaw, are we there yet?'

"The last is the only one I answered with any degree of certainty. The second one I deferred to their Nana."

The hole truth?

"Fact or myth?" asks T-Bob Taylor, this column's correspondent embedded in Panama City Beach, Florida, (not the worst place to be embedded).

"Has any reader heard a Huey Long story I hear from time to time? Supposedly he demanded money to fix a prison.

"The way I heard it, the legislators in control were called to a mandatory meeting late one stormy night.

"Workers had drilled holes in the roof over the meeting table, and the legislators were not allowed to move to dry off until they gave in and signed the necessary papers.

"It sounds in line with some other tales…"

Mystery quote

Ronnie Stutes, our unpaid political pundit, says, "I was listening to a discussion about Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh on National Public Radio when suddenly I lost the sound.

"The last thing that I heard the commentator say was '…in his career he has ticked off every…'

"I never found out if she ended the sentence with '…box that one would expect a Supreme Court nominee to do' or '…liberal east of the Mississippi.'"

Loser's baptism

Bruce Hirstius comments on our Wednesday mention of Tom Dempsey's record 63-yard field goal that gave the New Orleans Saints a 19-17 victory over the Detroit Lions back in 1970:

"My family and friends were seated in the end zone, waiting for the kick.

"Behind us was a lone Detroit fan holding a large cup of beer. He told us if Dempsey made the kick he was going to pour the beer on his head.

"The kick sailed well over the crossbar, and we turned to face the Lions fan. He said, 'A deal is a deal,' and poured the cold beer on his head as promised.

"I only wished we had a camera with us."

Special People Dept.

  • Jean Berry, of Lafayette, celebrates her 99th birthday Friday, July 13.
  • Ernest and Jane Burnthorn have their 70th anniversary on Friday, July 13, an event they will be celebrating on Saturday, July 14, at Ormond Nursing and Care Center in Destrehan.

Big fat seeds

The always helpful Emmett Irwin says, "In response to Wayne LeCompte, who says he is looking for bacon seeds, maybe I can help him. They're called pigs!"

A vision in blue

Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, says, "Many, many years ago I was invited to one of the really fancy Carnival balls in New Orleans.

"I was really busy at the time, and was having trouble getting measured for a tuxedo. My good friend Tony Dugas, who was also invited, told me he was going to get measured for his tux, and all I had to do was provide my measurements and he would take care of it.

"I did that, and was told by Tony to just show up at the hotel where the event was taking place, and he would bring my tux when he picked up his.

"Well, when I began to dress for the ball and opened the hanging bag, I realized I had been had!

"Tony had gotten me a powder blue (or whatever hue of blue) tux! All the other men were in black! I stuck out like a lemon in a bushel of apples!

"The band at the time included a couple of the Neville Brothers, and they played, 'They All Asked for You' to a crowd that applauded my blue tux!

"Of course, that was my first and only invitation to that ball!

(Just think, though — if the music had been provided by The Temptations, you could have gotten up on the stage and fit right in…)  

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.