Lowell Tilley would appear to have a problem with the movement of vehicles in and around Baton Rouge:

"Cars on the west side of the Mississippi River have been backing up from the Baton Rouge Interstate 10 bottleneck for years, and most lanes appear to be used for parking.

"We should at least license vendors to go out and sell hot dogs and hamburgers to the drivers waiting to move."

While this is a nice idea, I'd expand it to include the area's food trucks, which offer a variety of dishes (Cuban sandwiches, wraps, frozen yogurt) and could make the wait a bit more pleasant.

Lowell also points out that when the folks in authority do get around to building a bridge across the river to "help with traffic problems," the result is the beautiful Audubon Bridge, the right bridge in the wrong place, which winds up helping not very much.

So put your car in park, try not to breathe too many gasoline fumes from the cars around you, and enjoy your cheeseburger from the food truck in the next lane. …

Henry gets crabby

Paula King, of Gretna, says, "All the stories about crawfish reminded me of our golden retriever Henry.

"When we purged the live crawfish, he'd dunk his nose in the water, come out with a live one and eat it.

"He tried this with live crabs ONCE."

Seasonal sneezes

Lillian Miller, this column's unpaid holiday poet, is also our seasonal poet, as the submission below proves:

"Spring has sprung,

Birds are singing,

Pollen is heavy,

My ears are ringing.

My white car is yellow from all that stuff,

Spring I love ya, but enough is enough.

Kleenex and hankies are standard gear,

Is it me or is pollen heavy this year?

But if there’s a bright side to minor complaining,

There’s never a rainbow unless it’s raining.

So enjoy, embrace, exhale the spring,

runny noses and the rest it brings,

join with the birds, sing with glee,

zippidy doo dah and twiddly dee!"

Backfired joke

Carol Darbonne, of Morgan City, says the upcoming April Fool's Day brings memories of this tale:

"When I was in the eighth grade many years ago, on April 1, the teacher wrote on the blackboard 'Loof Lirpa' and told us she wanted a report written on that subject.

"I thought I wouldn’t be caught in her joke, so I turned in my report with every word written in reverse.

"She got the last laugh when she made me stand in front of the class and read my report." 

Early and expensive

Alex "Sonny" Chapman, of Ville Platte, says, "Your stories about slide rules and engineering students at LSU reminded me of my experience in 1975.

"A fellow Evangeline Parish Tiger James Andrus was a devoted engineering major. One day, I was visiting him in his Hatcher Hall dorm when he pulled out a rectangular holster very carefully and showed me a calculator.

"James then advised that it cost him $200. And to think, 10 years later, stores were giving them away with the purchase of enough other items."

Special People Dept.

Grace Anselmo, former owner of Tony’s Donut Shop in Baton Rouge, celebrates her 99th birthday Thursday, March 28.

Thrifty love

Jerry Berggren says, "After reading Chuck Falcon's experience with an anniversary card for his wife (Chuck remembered not to put the card from the drug store in the same bag as his indigestion medicine), I was reminded of one of my own.

"Recently, my wife, Rose (aka 'Saint Rose'), and I celebrated our 52nd anniversary.

"We were in Walmart about a week before the date, and as we approached the greeting card aisle, she mentioned to me that she was going to pick up a card for me.

"I quickly said, 'Here is the card I was going to get for you,' as I pointed to a nice card.

"She did the same, pointing to one she was going to get for me.

"We read the cards and decided we didn't need to spend the 6 bucks on already-read cards. Instead, we went out to eat (of course spending more than $6)."

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.