Patrick Howard, of Zachary, tells this timely tale:

"Many years ago, as the Thanksgiving holidays were approaching, we had a strange thing occur.

"We were wondering if we would have turkey or ham for the main course when we heard something outside.

"When I opened the front door, lo and behold, there in the front yard was, of all things, a large fully feathered turkey. He was strutting around like he knew this was the right address.

"Imagine our amazement at having a live turkey delivered right to our door!

"Sadly, it belonged to one of our neighbors and had gotten loose — but it was a great holiday mood brightener for us."

Drinking problem

Barry Dufour says, "Reading the Wednesday column item about the kids playing restaurant reminded me of the time when I was in high school in 1969.

"My friend was at his sister's house visiting with the family. The little girl, his 3-year-old niece, was playing at being a server in a restaurant, and was bringing everyone her little tea cups filled with water.

"They thought it was cute until after a while, my friend decided to see where she was getting the water. She was getting it out of the toilet…"

High on the hog

Bill Huey, of Baton Rouge, noting my comment on uses of ham leftovers, sent me a recipe for "deviled ham cocktail spread" that sounds delicious.

He also reminded me of this definition of eternity: a bachelor and a ham.   

The Cussing Chronicles  

"The writer who came up with the idea of '2020' as an expletive is a genius," says Tom Reagan, of Central.

"Last Saturday, as I was walking back to my car in the big box store lot, I was mumbling to myself, '2020, I left my 2020 mask in my 2020 car. 2020 it!'"

Tom tells this story about the days before we had "2020" as a cuss word, and why he wishes we had it then:

"As a new altar boy in the early ’60s (Mass was in Latin then), I was to prepare the sanctuary for 6:30 a.m. Mass: light candles, put out water and wine, turn on the P.A. system, etc.

"Usually there were two altar boys, but the one who was training me failed to come that day. It was just my second Mass.

"A priest who used to scare the altar boys was the one saying Mass that morning. He had a great voice that could be heard throughout the church.

"There was a point in the Mass when the altar boy would move the giant prayer book from one side of the altar to the other.

"This morning I missed the sign made by the priest and didn't move the book, so he whispered, 'The book, (using a word not 2020), get the book!'

"I learned later that none of the other altar boys turned the P.A. system on for him."

Special People Dept.

  • Eleanor Nabors Lenoir, of Denham Springs, celebrates her 92nd birthday Sunday, Nov. 29. She was born on Thanksgiving Day, before President Franklin Roosevelt led the movement that changed Thanksgiving from the last Thursday in November to the fourth Thursday in November.
  • Audrey and Dick Mendel celebrated their 65th anniversary Thursday, Nov. 26.
  • James and Sharilynn Aucoin, of Geismar, celebrate their 57th anniversary Friday, Nov. 27. Both are LSU graduates. After 45 years in Baton Rouge, they moved to Geismar when they lost their Sherwood Forest home in the 2016 flood.

Pie diplomacy

Algie Petrere, of Central, tells this story she came across, but assures us it's not about her neighbors, "who make delicious pies":

"The neighbors gave us a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible we had to throw it away.

"Ever gracious and tactful, my wife sent the neighbors a note. It read: 'Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn't last very long in our house.'"

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.