Dear Smiley: We went out to eat on our 49th anniversary with our visiting grandkids.

When the waitress brought the bill, my husband placed cash in the bill book.

After the waitress picked up the bill, grandson Ethan exclaimed with wonder that he never knew CASH could be used to pay a restaurant bill.


St. Francisville

Christmas surprise

Dear Smiley: This time of year always reminds me of my time working in Plaquemine as the operations manager of a small branch of a large company.

We had one outside salesman, Anthony, who built a new house in Port Allen, and I helped him move into it.

As operations manager, I drove one of the company trucks to and from work, so Anthony asked if I would go with him to the Christmas tree farm after work and take the tree he would buy to his house. And of course I would, so I did.

It was dark when the tree was cut and taken into his house. The next morning all of the wasps in the wasp nest that lived in the tree decided to go out for an adventure. Anthony was the adventure they sought.

I don’t think he ever went to a tree farm after that.



Desperately seeking Rachael 

Dear Smiley: For a long time I have been getting calls from Rachael at Card Services. I never engaged her in conversation and usually just hung up on her.

I realize that wasn't a very gentlemanly thing to do, but I didn't think she would take it personally.

The other day I got a call from Norma at Card Services. When I inquired about Rachael, she just ignored me and continued to tell me how she was going to save me money.

Now I am feeling guilty. Was she fired because I was always hanging up on her, or did she become despondent and quit?

I actually miss her a little. She had a very pleasant voice.

If you know anyone at Card Services and could find out what happened to Rachael, I would greatly appreciate it.



Dear Harry: I asked Alexa, and she told me Rachael had left to take a new job with GPS.

Universal dance

Dear Smiley: While reading in your column about the person hearing "Jambalaya" in Ireland, I was reminded of an experience I had while I was in France.

I was in the beautiful city of Strasbourg, and heard in the distance one of the country songs I line dance to regularly.

I raced down the two blocks to find a group of “cowboys” dancing on a stage. Of course I had to say something to them.

It turned out they were French and loved our line dancing and music. When I told them that I did that all the time and was from Louisiana, they were thrilled. Small world after all.



The thin man

Dear Smiley: Comments about height and weight of high school football players reminded me of when I first got to my present height of 6 feet, 3 inches. I was 13, and weighed only 129 pounds. High school chums called me “Spider.”

I often see tall, slender guys and ask them their height and weight, trying to see what I looked like back then. So far, no one has come close.



Most unique?

Dear Smiley: One more for your series of "verbal hiccups:" modifiers with "unique."

"Unique means only one, therefore a thing is either unique or it's not. Therefore, never "very unique" or "really unique," etc.

Kind of like the old blues song, "Is you is or is you ain't my baby?"



The venison solution

Dear Smiley: We have a problem with too many deer in town. They are living in people's yards, crossing the street in front of cars, etc.

The solution seems obvious to me. All we need to do is to get a few Cajuns to come and live here.

Within a month or so, all of the deer will be dead and in the pot.


Colorado Springs, Colorado 

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.