Night of the Living Dead

If the zombies, like those from 'The 'Night of the Living Dead' attack, Baton Rouge is the best place in Louisiana to survive, according to a fun new analysis of CDC data.

The people of Louisiana should know that when the Zombie apocalypse comes, Baton Rouge offers the best chance of survival in this state, according to an analysis of a report by the federal Centers of Disease Control and Prevention.

Baton Rouge ranks 57th in the nation and is the best place in Louisiana for the living to defend themselves from Zombies when graveyards come back to life.

New Orleans came in 99th out of 200. The Crescent City has a big problem with above-ground funeral vaults and few basements that can serve as bunkers.

Lafayette? Lake Charles? Forget about it. They’re doomed.

As part of an advertising gimmick, Lawn Love Lawn Care, a San Diego-based national landscaping company, dove into the statistics compiled by the CDC’s “Zombie Preparedness Guide” and meshed them with other federal numbers, then calculated the chances of survival from a Zombie attack.

The CDC report used a tongue-in-cheek approach to teach high schoolers what to think about in preparing for natural disasters.

The report included statistics for such factors as the percentages of the population who are both healthy and exercise a lot.

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Baton Rouge, with a lot of joggers through tree-lined neighborhoods and plenty of parks, fared well nationally by this metric.

Luckily, or not, the Capitol City also got good rankings from being the place where many on the coast evacuate to when hurricanes loom. So, the city already has water and food close at hand, not to mention well-stocked drug stores and prepared hospitals on dedicated power lines. Baton Rouge kids are taught from the cradle to keep emergency numbers close at hand and that important documents need to be stored in waterproof containers.

Lawn Love added in the number of stores per 100,000 people that sell guns and hunting gear, along with the number of walking and biking trails, presumably to escape.

Baton Rouge also benefits from having Louisiana’s largest homes in terms to average square footage and complete kitchen facilities.

From all these numbers, Lawn Love created a formula that ranked metro areas in terms of survivability in a Zombie apocalypse.

The safest city in the country is Huntington Beach, Calif., a surfing mecca on the Pacific Ocean that ranks high on a lot of the health metrics but also benefits from easy access to Los Angeles’ extensive freeway system.

Lawn Love noted that the AMC post-apocalyptic horror television series. “The Walking Dead,” begins its 11th and final season on Aug. 22.

Email Mark Ballard at mballard@theadvocate.com.