With over 500 entries in Walt Handelsman's latest Cartoon Caption Contest, you have GOT to read these hilarious punchlines!

Louisiana Oysters

WOW! We hauled in 547 delicious entries in this week’s Cartoon Caption Contest! There were some super funny ones in this batch. From water beds to newborn pillows… and some real off-the-wall gems. Check out the last one listed!!  Very creative stuff!

As always, when we have duplicate entries, and we always do, we pick the earliest sent in.

Here are your winner and finalists!!


Ralph Stephens, Baton Rouge: (Punchline lettered into word balloon)


Gisele Prados, Metairie: “What do you have in firm bedding? We are looking for something we can attach to.”

Dennie Williams, Alexandria: “We’re here to get a new waterbed.”

Harold L. Anderson, Milwaukee, WI: “We have a bed. We need a box spring.”

Karen Hiwat, Kenner: “I hear those bi-valves can be tricky on the blow-up mattresses!”

Jeremie Janise, New Orleans: “Looking for a wet blanket, maybe something in burlap.”

Robert Aguiluz, Baton Rouge: “We’re looking for a new bed. The one we have now shucks!”

Karen Poirrier, Lutcher: “We need 200,000 newborn pillows!!!”

John Galloway, Kenner: “We’re looking for a bed where we can get a little salty.”

Kathy Settoon Schaer, Springfield: “We’re a couple of jacked-up oysters lookin’ for a bed!!”

Donovan Mohr, New Orleans: “Hey, Mack, stop me if you heard this one before: Two ersters walk into a bedding store… ”

David Weber, Kenner: “We sleep in the raw… on the half-shell, of course.”

Ed Walters, Baton Rouge: “We’re looking for something salty, of course, but with privacy, ‘cause we are about to have a little spat.”

Richard Miller, Baton Rouge: “So what’s the difference between the Bienville and Rockefeller models?”

David W. Hoerner, Metairie: “My wife, Pearl, is looking for a bed for our daughter, Shelly.”

Amy Sharei, Raceland: “This place has 5-Starfish on Sea B-n-B.”

Charlie Twickler, New Orleans: “Shucks!… With all the talk of ‘diversions’, we thought we better look for a new place to ‘bed down’…”

Charlotte Humphries, Hammond: “We’re looking for a SEA-ly mattress.”

Gwen Bizette, Baton Rouge: “We’re looking for a new bed, cold, wet, sandy, you got one of those in there for us?!!!”

Neil Farnsworth, New Orleans: “Do you have anything in brackish?”

Carolyn B. Hudson, Columbia, SC: “We need a bed where we can grow together!”

Claire McCrary, River Ridge: “We’ll take the Princess & the Pea model… in pearl white.”

Craig W. Maumus, Metairie: “There is no R in July or August, so I’d like to be able to rest easy for another two months.”

Janet Taylor, Baton Rouge: “Do you deliver to Grand Isle?”

Phillip T. Griffin, New Orleans: “An oyster bed of course; you don’t think we’re looking for a ‘Posturepedic’.”

Russell R. Barcelona, Baton Rouge: “We are looking for a good deal on a new oyster bed. We got a raw deal on the last one.”

Louis Trachtman, New Orleans: “Hello, our bed lost its lease, so we need a new one.”

Jeff Hartzheim, Fuquay-Varina, NC: “Do you have anything that’s not a tray of ice cubes and lemon wedges?”

Brandon Gravois, Gonzales: “I told you we should have made a left at Cocodrie! This is the wrong bed! Shucks!”

Bill Magill, Baton Rouge:“Do you have any salt ‘water beds’?”

Joe Zehner, Metairie: “We’re from Barataria Bay, do you have any sediment-free beds?”

Georges M. Legrand, Metairie: “Does your Tempur-Pedic come with a setting for charbroiled?”

Charles Theaux, Ponchatoula: “We’re looking for a new bed, preferably something softer in a pearl color.”

Joseph Guidry, Lafayette: “Would you mind getting the door?”

These were a real treat!

Best wishes--Walt

Email Walt Handelsman at whandelsman@theadvocate.com