While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, here are items from past columns.

What Freudian slip?

Teeta Moss, of St. Francisville, was driving son J.G. to Baton Rouge when the State Capitol came into view.

He pointed it out and asked, “What is it they do there?”

Teeta told him the laws for Louisiana are made in that building, and asked him, “Who makes those laws?”

His answer: “Sinners and representatives.”

Aging in Acadiana

L.A. Cagnolatti, of Gonzales, came up with a limerick:

“Old Alphonse, he is from Carencreaux;

Doesn’t stay there, always on the geaux.

And he’s still much alive

At a ripe ninety-five,

And still geauxing, but ever seaux sleaux!”

An inside job

This limerick was slipped through my transom recently, signed by “An obscure source.” After reading it, you’ll know why.

“There was a young lady from Nides,

Of eating green apples she died.

They quickly fermented

Within the lamented,

Made cider inside her insides.”

Cold, salty and stupid

D.C. Jensen is concerned about The Advocate story headed “Funds OK’d for oyster education campaign.”

“If we educate them,” he asks, “won’t that make them more difficult to catch?”

Dangerous precedent

Milford Fryer knows why six Louisiana congressmen oppose the U.S. invasion of Haiti to restore democracy:

“If it works in Haiti, Louisiana may be next.”

The bottom line

Earl Leggett says, “After listening to a very good sermon last Sunday morning, we invited the man of the cloth to have Sunday dinner with us.

“When the cow tongue was passed to the preacher, he exclaimed, ‘No, no, I can’t eat anything from something’s mouth.’

“Then he said, ‘Pass the eggs, please.’ ”

Think Southern

J.B. Guillaume, of Rougon, says, “We went to an Alabama motel and were asked if we had any ‘payettes.’

“I hesitated, but said ‘No’ and asked why, to possibly get an answer to clear things up.

“The clerk told me no payettes were allowed, because just the past week a resident had a large Rottweiler which tore up a mattress.”

Geography lesson

Paul Vincent knows how you can tell when you’re not in Cajun country.

He says a notice of a gumbo sale in a northeast Louisiana newspaper said, “Rice available on request.”