If YouTube is, as one colleague aptly called it, “the peepshow of the inane,” how then should we characterize the brushfire phenomenon known as the celebrity sex tape? Ever since Pam 'n' Tommy's Edison-like act and the lucrative distribution of 1 Night In Paris — the 2003 Paris Hilton-and-random guy romp that unfortunately qualifies as the genre’s unwitting Metropolis — these inane peepshows have begun popping up at an alarming rate (at least two or three prominent releases per year) and from some downright alarming sources. (Um, Amy Fisher? Really?)
Apparently, even “celebrity” is no longer much of a prerequisite. The growing list of recent wannabe porn stars includes: failed actress Jenna Lewis, a former Survivor: Borneo cast member who couldn’t survive nine episodes; celebutante Kim Kardashian, no more a celebrity than your average actually-getting-paid porn star; and now Fisher, whose sole claim to fame is the attempted murder of her statutory rapist’s spouse in 1992 and whose 2007 video also marks the death of sex appeal as an integral element in famous coitus celluloidus.
In a recent AP interview, Fisher admitted that it will be “difficult” to eventually explain to her two kids — ages 3 and 6 — exactly why she’s famous. But when it's finally time for that troublesome come-to-Jesus, Fisher can resort to the one crutch used by every modern parent when they have no other recourse: She can put on a movie.