New Orleans has Valerio the Hungry Hungry Jaguar, of course, and Entergy Cat and Mr. P. the Uptown Peacock and French Quarter Restaurant Dancin' Rats and a million alligators all over town — but one thing we don't have is alligators hyped up on meth.
The Loretto, Tennessee Police Department posted a Facebook warning this weekend urging people not to flush their drugs down the toilet, partially for fear of creating "meth-gators":
"Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay. When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream," the PD wrote. "Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help."
Apparently this is a semi-real thing: check out this story about a meth-addicted python that was rescued from a meth lab, having absorbed the drug through its skin. Or this 2012 study about the effect of meth on fruit flies ("like humans, fruit flies exposed to methamphetamine drastically reduce their food intake and increase their physical activity"). And there have been several stories about dogs and cats rescued from meth labs that show permanent effects from being exposed to the drug.
So please dispose of your meth in a socially acceptable fashion and don't flush it down the toilet. The last thing New Orleans needs is rampaging meth-gators (or meth-a-gators) wandering around The Fly or the banks of Bayou St. John.